Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. SnapChat. Etc. Whatever platform(s) you use on a regular basis, you probably spend more time on them than you’d like to admit (I know I do). If you’re like me, your social media feeds probably have a big impact on your mood (especially if you follow any news sites. ugh.). It’s not just the news, though. The posts from your friends and family (or even complete strangers) can put you in a bad mood, too. We’re constantly viewing everyone else’s highlight reel and wondering why our lives can’t be like that.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” –Theodore Roosevelt
We get stuck in a cycle of comparing our real lives to everyone else’s highlight reel, and that’s a surefire way to dampen your mood and make you feel like you don’t have enough, you’re not good enough, etc. The first step to a better experience on social media is understanding that few people show their real life on there. Some show their “behind-the-scenes” so people understand that the pretty Instagram photos don’t show everything, but many don’t. So you have to take everything you see and put it in perspective.
That food blogger who always takes pictures with perfect lighting on a marble countertop may have none of that. I’ve seen the behind the scenes of a few food bloggers who use a small piece of marble and set it up next to a window with lots of natural light to get the perfect shot.
Here’s the thing. You can’t let other people’s seemingly “perfect” photos keep you from sharing what you love. Who cares if you don’t have the perfect lighting or even a slab of marble or granite? Take your food pictures under your fluorescent lighting on your laminate countertop and be proud of your creation.
If what other people are posting affects your mood, however, it’s time to curate a social media feed that brings you joy instead of feelings of “not enough”. How do you curate your social media feeds? Here’s a few tips I’ve used myself to ensure when I log in to Instagram or Facebook, what I see generally makes me happier:
- Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Give yourself permission to unfollow any social media accounts that don’t bring you joy for whatever reason. On Facebook, you can unfollow people but still remain friends (so no one gets their feelings hurt). On Instagram, there’s not an option to stay “friends” when you unfollow, but sometimes unfollowing is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you’re real-life friends, great. Stay in touch–call, email, text, grab coffee, etc. But don’t follow them on social media if doing so makes you feel less than. For the people you don’t know in real life, well, don’t feel bad about unfollowing them.
- Connect with others who have similar goals. If your goal is to lose weight, connect with other people who want to lose weight. If you want to run a marathon, connect with other runners. If you want to save money, maybe unfollow those bloggers who are always posting about their new bags or shoes or whatever. Find bloggers who thrift or are always on the hunt for sales instead. For me, running, mental health, and eating healthy are all really important to me. So I’m friends with/follow other runners. I’m even in a couple runners’ groups on Facebook. I follow accounts on Instagram that regularly share self-care tips and ways to boost mental health. I follow a lot of accounts that are associated with the Whole30 in one way or another. My Instagram feed includes a lot of Whole30 recipes, kitchen and grocery shopping tips/hacks, and other healthy products. I don’t follow accounts like McDonald’s or bloggers who are constantly making choices that would not be healthy for me. I follow accounts that bring me joy and bring me closer to my goals.
- Set limits. For those accounts you just can’t unfollow for whatever reason, set limits. I still follow several news sites because I want to be informed. But I don’t let myself get lost in a sea of bad news. Instead I’ll read one or two news stories (and skim a few other headlines/snippets) before moving on to happier things, like posts about dogs or some new recipes to try. Unfortunately, there’s no easy “hack” for this. You have to have some self-control and know your own limits. I’m learning that when it comes to social media (at least for me), less is more. I’ve also implemented a social media “curfew” for myself recently. I stop checking/mindlessly scrolling through social media at 8pm every day. I’ve been doing this for over a month now and although there have been a few exceptions where I either forgot or lost track of time, I’ve stuck with it. Even better, it has helped. Quitting social media altogether or taking a hiatus (however long) just wasn’t realistic for me. But logging off by 8pm every night has been relatively easy. Plus, it gives me more time to wind down before bed.
Social media seems to be a blessing and a curse for most people. We’re more connected to others than ever, but it can also lead to feelings of isolation and “not enough”. Taking control of your social media feeds by changing who you follow and how you use it just might give you a happiness boost when you log in.
If you try any or all of these tips, let me know if they help! If you have any other tips to share, I’d love to hear them!